Director: P.J. Hogan
Julianne 'Jules' Potter : Julia Roberts
Michael 'Mike' O'Neal: Dermot Mulroney
Kimberly 'Kimmy' Wallace: Cameron Diaz
George Downes: Rupert Everett

Paige and David Coffee Talk My Best Friend's Wedding
David: Okay, there were two main problems with this movie. One, nobody wants to see Julia Roberts be mean.
Paige: Actually, some of us don't care if we see Julia Roberts at all.
David: Two, if she's going to be mean, she has to be really mean, so that it's funny. In this movie, she was just mean enough that you start to dislike her. The problem here is that she is the main character.
David: This would have been a better black comedy.
Paige: Here here!
Paige: The whole movie was just insipid from start to finish. I have no idea why anyone would want the groom. He's a jerk. He's a self-centered jerk. He was a self centered, cradle-robbing, jerk. How old was this girl supposed to be? Nineteen? I mean, I get it, she's pretty... but she came off like a fool. She was supposed to be an architect, but nobody who works that hard just ditches it to get married.
David: [tries to type as fast as Paige can talk — a losing battle if ever there was one]
Paige: Oh, and this movie's other salient feature was it's astonishing preconception that falling over equals slapstick humor that never ever gets old. Or they just like to make pretty people fall down and make those "Murray fetch the mouse" a-la Mad About You thumping sounds. I'm sitting there thinking, oh wait, it's been twenty minutes, it's time for Julia Roberts to fall over and make a thumping noise.
Paige: This movie to me was like Good Will Hunting — I finally got to see this movie after everyone gushed over it, telling me that it was just the best thing they had ever seen — and nothing happened. An hour nad a half of absolutely nothing that I had any interest in at all. A lot of people walked around and were inconsequential. So there I am, 90 minutes later, all about frustration, and no way to get that time back.
David: [still typing, wishing fervently that Paige could talk at a reasonable rate of speed]
Paige: I think that when Julia Roberts is around, all the men turn into gibbering idiots.
David: I wouldn't turn into a gibbering idiot around Julia Roberts. Audrey Hepburn maybe.
Paige: Well, Audrey Hepburn is dead, so that would be pretty frightening I think.

Okay, the same guy that directed the terrific Muriel's Wedding committed to doing this one. I can only assume that it was because someone was holding his grandmother hostage. That's really the only logical explanation for all of this.

Do you have any idea how many times I had to force my spleen back down my throat before it tried to choke me to death in self defense? Oh lordy, this movie is bad. It should have been swatted with a newspaper and tied to a stake outside until it learned to behave like actual entertainment. Okay, in the interests of fairness, there are two good things about this movie. The first and best thing is the opening credits, in which a lip-syncing bride and bridesmaids head-tilt their way through "Wishing and Hoping," which according to the back of the soundtrack CD, is sung by ani difranco. David spent the entire time imploring the screen not to let that quirky beginning segue cleverly into the actual plot of the story, but just to stand alone like those 60's beach movies where people would spontaneously break into song. His wishes were answered, and it was the last time we were happy during this movie.

Oh, the other good thing that happened was that this movie cleared up a mystery for me. I had never understood why every bride last year picked Jerome Kern's "The Way You Look Tonight" as their wedding song. I like the song, but I had no idea why the resurgence in popularity until I suffered until the end of this movie. I hate the idea that people paid homage to this movie so much that they chose their wedding song from it. Anything by Shania Twain would have been better. Hell, anything sung by Adam Sandler would have been better. Wait, no it wouldn't. I take that back.

Julia Roberts falls over a bunch of times during this movie. Or maybe she only falls over once and she just falls over a lot in every movie she's in lately. I can say that it was only funny once. Rupert Everett was sweet but totally wasted here. Dermot Mulroney played a character that not even a mother could love. Who would want this guy? Why do two pretty girls fawn all over this loser? He's mean. He's stupid. He thinks that it just makes durn good sense for his fiancee (how old is she in this movie? Sixteen?) to quit studying architecture and follow him from sandlot to sandlot watching baseball, for heaven's sake. And she thinks it's a good idea too! Are we really supposed to swallow this dreck? Oh and the karaoke scene. Oh, no one should have to suffer like this. The only good part about that scene was that I felt totally of one mind with Julia here. She spent the entire scene looking like she was just waiting for them to turn off the cameras so she could go throttle whoever sent her this script. Of course, I may be projecting a little here.

And another thing, why does everyone have a cutesy nickname except the George character? Can I find the answer to this at my Library of Congress?

Bottom Line: Girl inexplicably chases boy. Boy rejects girl for other girl to whom he's actually engaged. We hated all of the characters and sympathized with none of them. We considered therapy for post traumatic stress disorder after watching this film.