From ???@??? Thu Mar 27 09:54:31 1997
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Date: Wed, 26 Mar 1997 11:14:47 -0800
From: Paige Malerman <vipergrl@earthlink.net>
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Dear David:

I admit it, I was just scanning through. I never actually write to
anyone, just read them over and then go on with my workday. reading,
reading, reading...favorite Muppet...wait a minute.

you would understand how totally arresting that was if, like me, you
were the sole Muppet advocate caught in the crossfire of warring Disney
vs. Warner Brothers factions. just for the record, my favorite is
Fozzie Bear.

so, why else did I write...well, like you, I have a creative bent and
I've had what some consider a drastic chareer change--(I'm a lawyer but
I hated it so now I spend my days working on a web site for the Phila.
Bar Association and my evenings working with some friends on a recording
company)--and I was wondering how you made the jump from puppets to
makeup to cs.

other vital(?) stats--at least according to what you wrote yourself:
Jewish observance--major holidays and deep cultural identification; fave
poems: "Cooking"--Ed Ochester and "Oyeme Como Quien Oye Llover (listen
to me as one listens to the rain)"--Octavio Paz; cool stuff on desk:
little green frog and spanish magic 8 ball.

there. that's probably more than enough to digest.

talk to you...

paige

From dshaw@cs.jhu.edu Thu Mar 27 14:06:28 1997
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From: David Shaw <dshaw@cs.jhu.edu>
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Hi there!

I felt like the king of the fools posting that ad, and it is nice to see I
didn't horrify the entire east coast with it.

I have gotten two or three responses, ranging from the merely weird to the
howlingly bizarre. There are some distinctly odd people out there. The
best (or worst, depending on your point of view) was from a woman in
England (now there's a long distance relationship...) who was very glad
that I am tall, but still she "only put height down to weed out the pygmies
and the Puerto Ricans."

Dating at Hopkins is dreadful as there are around 3.2 Jewish women on
campus. I tried dating the .2, but it didn't work out, she being only a
left leg and all.

A lawyer to a web person to recording - yep, that sounds like my hops.

Makeup and puppets were related - I have to confess I didn't usually do
'nice' puppets like the Muppets. More often, I did disembodied killer
legs, or genetically engineered killer rats, or large (again, "killer")
bloodworms (what on earth is a "bloodworm"?) that jumped out of the dirt
and bit people. Basically, 90% of the time the word "killer" was in there
somewhere. So, it was either a killer or soon-to-be dead (Matt Dillon's
body that fell in front of the train in "A Kiss Before Dying"). Did you
ever see a TV show called "Monsters"? I worked on that for 3 seasons.

After that, film school, and then cinematography. I worked on umpteen
shorts, and even more music videos. After the zillionth rap video freezing
to death and hearing shots whistle over my head in certain areas of New
York so gently known as "don't ever go there if you have even the slightest
attachment to your life", I decided to think about going back to school.

Still, it was a weird jump, and has to do with cows. I was living in
Newark, NJ (its fame has probably spread to PA) and horrified that if I
left the dorm after dark, I'd most likely be shot within a few minutes. As
I'm not too happy without swings to swing on at 2am, this was a problem.
To keep my sanity (?), I started writing a computer program to translate
English into Cow, phonetically. (You know, as in Moo, Moo, Moo moo moo,
Moo....) When I finished it, I decided to give it away for free on the
internet. For some completely inexplicable reason, it became really
popular and was published all over the world. In Japan they really flipped
over it, and so now I have a copy of a Japanese book with my name in it - a
whole page that I can't read with two words: "David Shaw" in English. :)

I like the title Oyeme Como Quien Oye Llover - I don't speak Spanish (I
don't speak anything but English and assorted computer languages. And a
little sign language), but I love the sound of rain. I live on the top
floor here so I can hear the rain on the roof :)

As for the Spanish 8 ball, that's really neat! Does it have the standard
phrases "Outlook Good", or "Future Hazy - Try again" and such? (In
Spanish, I presume)

Okay, I'm done - this letter is getting a tad large. You'll probably think
I'm a loon. You caught me at a moment when I was supposed to be doing a
project for a class, and gave me a wonderful opportunity not to do it :)

David

--
David Shaw | dshaw@cs.jhu.edu | WWW http://www.cs.jhu.edu/~dshaw/
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson

From ???@??? Tue Apr 01 02:32:57 1997
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Date: Fri, 28 Mar 1997 10:50:29 -0800
From: Paige Malerman <vipergrl@earthlink.net>
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hey david--

I don't think you should feel like the king of fools for having posted
your message. maybe I'm just saying that because I was, after all,
sitting here lurking around that list. because if writing them makes
you king, reading them still probably puts me somewhere in the
aristocracy of idiocy. that would make me the duchess of doofuses or
something.

oh lordy. have to stop getting up so early. I'm already a little loopy.

anyway. I have to admit that I was reading through the cybersingles
jewish page because I haven't met very many Jewish people over the last
few years (and a lot of the men I have met have been frightening,
annoying, or frightenly annoying). I hear that they're out there in
Philadelphia somewhere, but I'm thinking that they're just all really
antisocial.

my friend Jeff had talked me into going to some Federation happy hour
thing a few weeks ago, and had steeled myself to the whole idea of it
being a meat market. this time I was going, there was no backing out.

but then I had to back out.

no, really. the happy hour was two days after I had been casted for a
broken my leg and at that point I was still a hurtin' puppy and was
still learning how to negotiate getting around.

yeah, Jeff didn't think it was a good excuse either. the cast comes off
monday and I get a walking cast. guess then I'll have to go...

anwyay, since I can't stand around in crowded bars comfortably (can you
ever?) or dance, or walk, or even get a glass of water across the room
easily at this point, I thought that I'd read over that cyberjewish
page. and look, I've already met royalty. how cool.

wish I could say I've seen your work, and I really wish I could tell you
what a bloodworm is. it doesn't sound like something they sell a lot of
down at the local pet store. first of all, it's probably hard to know
where to put the leash. and then there's an issue of training it.
"stay" is probably easy, and "play dead" but "speak" and "shake hands"
would take a lot of work...

I'm digressing. where was I going before? oh, right, my work history.
well, when I graduated Carnegie Mellon with a bunch of majors I thought
that law was what I wanted. I thought it was going to pull together my
fascination with language and business and political cultures. it was a
real shock to learn that law school was like learning to become a
plumber, or going through any other trade school program. no higher
thinking, no fun arguments. it was all very tab a into slot b, made
worse by my panicky classmates who were sweating over the horrific state
of the job market. ugh. we're talking zero on the fun meter.

so I tried a lot of different places to work in the law. I even went to
Venezuela and worked in a firm that does commercial, transactional
work--which was what I had intended to do coming in. but after a while,
I realized that I was rapidly going to reach that point of working as a
tradesperson and not really learning. so next I tried clerking for a
judge--a Phila. homicide judge that gets a lot of the good juicy cases,
the ones with pieces of people stuffed in freezers (if they ever do a
movie on that particular case maybe you could come out of retirement
from the moviemaking biz). that didn't hold my interest very long, and
neither did clinic work, helping the indigent.

so I was bouncing from place to place when I happened on the Bar
Association. they took me in, eventually made me Tech Girl--putting me
in charge of the web site, answering member questions about technology,
etc.. the ironic part is that back at CMU I had refused to get sucked
completely into the nearly unavoidable computer culture--I even refused
to sign up for Internet privileges because I was offended that the
administration made the students sign an honor statement in order to get
that access. so I guess the fact that I am where I am now has to be
chalked up to the fates' warped sense of humor.

the recording business (which is called A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. M.U.S.I.C.) is a
side project. originally I had just volunteered to put together a Web
page for them for advertising purposes. but I had to keep offering them
my opinions until all of a sudden things had come to the point where
they made me a partner. the first album (it's called "Art Museum") is
in production now, and we start sending out the cds in the beginning of
May. lots of good stuff has come out of it aside from the satisfaction
of working on the project in the first place, they've asked me to sing
back-ups on the next album and in performances. and I've started
writing again, and we're trying to collaborate--turning my lyrics into
songs. since I walk around all the time singing anyway (they could
always hear me coming in law school), and since it gave me the push to
write, I couldn't have asked for a better situation. besides, there's a
big difference in the reaction when you break into song when you're
hanging out with a group of artistic types than when you're hanging out
with a group of lawyers :)

you know, now that I think on it, I do remember the fame of your cow
translator. so now I'm reeling from the shock of having met a famous
person. oh, speaking of that, if you want you can send me the page of
the Japanese book you can't read. I have a Japanese friend who I bet I
could talk into translating the page for you.

the Octavio Paz poem I mentioned does have a translation, which I have
to admit I leaned on when I read the poem the first time, although I
muddle through Spanish pretty well. no computer languages, just
Spanish. they did make me learn Pascal at CMU (calculus wasn't in my
core curriculum, but programming was--which isn't really surprising at
all). but after that first year I left that sort of thing to the
experts and threw myself into writing and Spanish (sometimes both at the
same time). anyway, the poem has some unbelievably beautiful lines in
it, like "you and your face of night/you and your hair, unhurried
lightening." there's also a line about listening to the rain running
over the terrace...which is probably right up your alley. I live on the
20th floor of a 21 floor bldg., so I don't really get rain sounds like
you do--which I actually miss. but when it rains or snows I do a lot of
standing on my terrace listening to the muffled city noises and watching
the lights. lightning looks pretty good from up there too.

well, now I've blown off almost the whole morning. I'd better get
moving, we're closing up early today. hm. here's a question I can ask
the magic 8-ball. will this message get to David in time for a return
message when the office closes around 1? let's ask.

"puedes confiar en ello"--you can count on it. hm. guess I'll be
hearing from you. and no, I don't think you're a loon. I'm having too
much fun to think you're a loon--except in the best sense.

paige

From dshaw Fri Mar 28 12:54:00 1997
Subject: Re: jewish cyber stuff
To: vipergrl@earthlink.net
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 1997 12:54:00 -0500 (EST)
In-Reply-To: <333C12F5.550B@earthlink.net> from Paige Malerman at "Mar 28, 97 10:50:29 am"
Organization: Computer Science Department, The Johns Hopkins University
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Hi Paige!

I just arrived in the lab. This'll probably be short, as I want to get it
to you before 1. I worked til 4am last night, ugh. I probably should
have stayed up and seen the comet, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.

The local federation sponsors a whole bunch of Jewish get-togethers. I
went to a few, and it always seemed to be a lot of people giving each
other *looks*: "hmm.. I could marry that one, or that one, or THAT one..."
Creepy.

How did you break your leg? I've never broken anything (but my heart). I
did manage to tear a somethingorother in my ankle while skipping once,
though. I told people that I did it rescuing orphans from a burning
building. People don't understand skipping. Actually, I hardly ever get
sick at all, which was a major disapointment in my grade school life.
Hmm. Now that sounds like a broken bone is an illness. So, how did you
catch your broken leg?

As for bloodworms - they do make fairly good stuffed animals. I could
show you some rather interesting off-set photos of the worms in the studio
kitchen, snuggled up with a few actresses, hanging from clothing... all
you would need is a reasonably perverse kid to love the thing, and you're
all set. Still, they certainly wouldn't be something you might go fishing
with, unless you were trying to catch the Loch Ness monster. I wish I had
kept one from the show. The only thing I saved was one of the prototype
articulated worm skeletons - it wiggles and tries to bite people, but
lacks a certain worminess, being without skin.

I do love the sound of rain, and rain in general. Sunshine too. (That's
me - aim to be happy). A friend of mine gave me a "Chilean Rain Stick",
which is a piece of cactus (I think) that has dried cactussy stuff inside
that makes rain sounds when you turn it over. It's good, but nothing
compares to a wonderful downpour when you can see the trees waving in the
wind, and can hear the music of it. Taking pictures in the rain is hard,
alas. (Confession time - I'm a photographer. I usually put my pictures on
the net, too. It's my way of giving something back)

Hopkins campus is situated in such a way that sometimes after a rain, fog
rolls down from upper to lower quad (upper quad is mostly arts, lower quad
is mostly geeks. I'm on lower quad). Since I keep weird hours, I was
heading home once at 3am and saw an amazingly beautiful fog covered
campus, lit by red light reflected from the sky.

(red light in the sky? Yes, Baltimore street lamps are reddish. I have
no idea why. They also mix broken glass in with their roads. Dunno why
they do that either, but it makes the pavement sparkle.)

I'll write more later, but I want you to see this before 1. :)

David
(King of the Fools)

--
David Shaw | dshaw@cs.jhu.edu | WWW http://www.cs.jhu.edu/~dshaw/
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson

Eventually, David wrote in to www.thejewishpeople.org to request to be removed from their list and they republished it in their Relationsips/Marriages section.

Relationship 10/97
Hiya,

A few months ago, I received mail from someone who found me via your service. We are now dating, and I am gloriously in love. I recently brought her home to meet the folks on Sukkot, and they all seem to love her as much as I do. :)

The only problem is that I want to take my listing off of your server since I am certainly not "looking" any more. I tried the "mail me my password" thing 3 or 4 times, but no luck. (I'm using Netscape 3.0 Gold under UNIX). Do you think you could see what the problem is?

Thanks a million for your service — it's made me a very happy person!

David

One more thought...

Subject: Pudding
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 16:27:37 -0400
From: David Shaw on 09/24/99 03:50:54 PM
To: Paige Malerman/MCS/Price Waterhouse@Americas-US
Subject: Pudding

Okay,

This is a little odd, but I was just in the kitchen here and there
were little pudding snacks in the refrigerator. I actually looked at
them and thought "Wow, by the time they expire, I'll be married
already..."

:)

David

--
David Shaw | dshaw@jabberwocky.com | WWW http://www.jabberwocky.com/
+--------------------------------------------------------------------------
-+
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson

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